Ref Lips briefly contacts both parties to explain how mediation works and lets both parties briefly explain what they see as the issue. Are they the only parties involved, or are there more involved?

Everything discussed is confidential.

This introductory meeting can take place by telephone or in person – whatever suits everyone best.

• During the first joint meeting, it is discussed which parties are involved and should be involved. Agreements are made about the course of the discussions: everything that is discussed is confidential, the parties decide for themselves what is discussed, agreements are made about how to address each other and let each other finish. It is also discussed how to deal with the costs and how they are divided. This, together with the number of discussions that the mediator thinks he or she needs to resolve the issue(s), is recorded in a mediation agreement. Everyone involved in the issue signs this agreement, including the mediator.

• Afterwards, after careful consultation about who starts, both parties discuss how each sees the issue.

• The mediator, in consultation with the parties, divides the topics that have been discussed and addresses each point with each party. This creates an overview of all topics and interfaces with the issue. These are then 'peeled off' in the conversation to get to the core. This can help in finding the desired solutions.

• The mediator will summarize the topics discussed during the conversation and, if desired, will make an overview of them in your presence.

• Usually the first conversation stops here, to let everything sink in.

During a second meeting (usually after a week), the points previously discussed are reviewed and it is checked whether everything still fits in with the topics that were discussed, or whether there are any issues that need to be supplemented.

The mediator then guides the parties to jointly discuss the main points of the issue and to explore how the insight of both parties can lead to mutual understanding and negotiation. Until common solutions are proposed and found, agreements are made and the relationship is restored.

If not everything has been discussed and additional discussions are required, this will be determined jointly and scheduled.

At a final meeting, the mutual agreements can be discussed again, supplemented where necessary and – if desired – recorded in a settlement agreement signed by both parties. This agreement can be filed with a notary to prevent any later conflicts and to help remind each other of the agreements made. The agreement then serves as a legal document.

How the costs are dealt with, will be discussed during the first meeting as mentioned earlier and recorded in the agreement. View the rates here .